I always find when I give up the drink that my
dreams become more lucid, more insightful and
more downright valuable.
That’s perhaps the reason my Uncle Stíofáin was
such a clear, informed and successful business
person. He never imbibed as much as a wrens
mouthful of alcohol in his entire life.
On one occasion he shared with me a vivid
dream he’d had the previous night.
‘Padraicaceen, I dreamed last night I died and
passed over the great celestial divide.
‘The first thing I did, as any traveller would, was to
check out the accommodation. I firstly checked out
Hell and I was utterly blown away.
‘I was greeted at the gate by a beautiful girl called
I knew for sure then he was dreaming because there
was no one around Ballyglunin matching either that
name or description.
‘She was welcoming, attentive and listened to my
every need before showing me around the hot spots
in Hell. She offered to put me up, free gratis for the
night, to sample the delights of Hell. No expense or
effort was spared on entertaining me and I enjoyed a
‘So impressed was I with the service in Hell that next
morning I signed up forever without even visiting
‘The reality sadly however, is that Hell was not what
that girl promised it would be at all.
‘After an eternity of suffering, I complained bitterly to
Chantelle that there was a massive difference between
how I was treated that first day compared to how I was
being treated now.
‘Stíofáin’ she replied, with sang froid. ‘The first day
you came in here you were a ‘prospect.’ Now you’re a
I think we can profit enormously from my Uncle
Stíofáin’s experience in Hell.
How often have we been culpable of promising the
sun, moon and stars to prospects in order to win them
over only to eschew all interest when they become
Remember that your number one business strategy is
retaining your existing customers. What will you do
this week to provide a ‘prospect’ like service to your
All you need is SMACHT.