Obituary

Headstone

AN OBITUARY PRINTED IN THE LONDON TIMES……
ABSOLUTELY DEAD BRILLIANT!!!

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend.
Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth
records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such
valuable lessons as:
–Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
–Why the early bird gets the worm;
–Life isn’t always fair;
–And maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies
(don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies
(adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned
but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a 6 -year-old boy charged with sexual harassment
for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using
mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers
for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in
disciplining their unruly children.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became
businesses, and criminals received better treatment than
their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend
yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar
could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman
failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled
a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death,
–by his parents, Truth and Trust,
–by his wife, Discretion,
–by his daughter, Responsibility,
–and by his son, Reason,

He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
–I Know My Rights
–I Want It Now
–Someone Else Is To Blame
–I’m A Victim
–Pay Me For Doing Nothing

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized
he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on.
If not, join the majority and do nothing.

 

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